Large Group #5: Christian Dating

Hi Everyone!

I hope midterms have gone well for you (or that at least they're gone). Classes are most likely going to get tougher in these final weeks of the quarter, but don't worry! God is with you :) Furthermore, each day has enough worry of its own, so don't worry about tomorrow, just do your best for the Lord!

This large group we watched a Mark Driscoll sermon about Christian Dating. Tim selected certain clips from it and we discussed the material for the remainder of the meeting. 

Unfortunately, I did not take notes on the discussion.

Fortunately, Tim has notes about the Driscoll sermon (which was quite entertaining and insightful!)

Outline of Mark Driscoll’s sermon:
(Parts shown are bolded)

2:31 - 3:40 Introduction of question: “How does a Christian date righteously? And what are the physical, emotional, and mentally connecting boundaries a Christian must set while developing an intimate relationship prior to marriage?”
3:41 - 5:27 Establishment of marriage in Genesis
5:28 - 7:00 Sin brings two problems: idolizing independence and idolizing marriage
7:01 - 9:54 Three hard questions before you get start a relationship:
- How is your relationship with Jesus?
- Are you believing any cultural lies?
- Do you accept that marriage is for holiness as well as happiness?
9:55 - 1:05:35 Four ways to have a relationship (we’re not legalist!):
- Prearranged marriage (10:23 - 12:55)
- Courtship (12:56 - 18:30): This works when the parents are godly, nearby and involved.
- Story of courtship for Driscoll family (15:45 - 18:30)
- Non-Christian dating (18:31 - 26:48):
- Historical development of dating (18:40 - 21:20)
- Focus on maturing young men (21:21 - 23:00)
- Results of non-Christian dating (23:01 - 26:48)
- Christian dating (26:49 - 1:02:00)
- Distinction between courtship and dating (27:00 - 28:30)
- 1 Corinthians 7 (29:20 - 34:30)
- Satisfying your partner in marriage (30:00 - 31:45)
- Gift of singleness (31:46 - 33:10)
- Principles of Christian dating (34:31 - 46:55)
- Maximize your singleness for God.
- Don’t date until you’re ready to think about marriage.
- Be reasonable with your expectations.
- A date is not dating.
- He initiates, she responds.

- Only date someone who’s a Christian, and who has the same doctrinal convictions as you do.

- Only date one person at a time.
- Look at who God puts in front of you.
- Use technology wisely.

- Only invest in a relationship with someone you are attracted to physically, mentally, and emotionally, and spiritually.

- Only marry someone who agrees with you on issues of gender and family.

- Guard your heart.

- Questions for Christian men (46:56 - 52:35)
- Are you overlooking godly women?
- Do you honor her and God with your behavior around her?
- Is she modest?
- Can you lead her, and will she follow your leadership?

- Does she have noble character? Are you proud to introduce her to other people that you know?

- Can you provide for her the lifestyle she expects?

- Is she like the negative women in Proverbs, nagging, quarrelsome, foolish, or unfaithful?

- Questions for Christian women (52:36 - 1:02:00)
- Do you want to help him with his plan?
- Will he remain tough in tough times?
- Is he considerate and gentle, so that you feel safe with him?
- Will he be a great dad?
- Is he a one-woman man?
- How valuable are you to him?

- Do you want your sons to be like him, and your daughters to marry someone like him?

- Final thoughts (1:02:01 - 1:05:35)
- No sexual contact before marriage.
- Intimacy is built until you’re married.
- It’s not too late to fix your mistakes.
- Closing prayer (1:05:36 - 1:06:49)

And that's it. I hope those of you who went found it beneficial. Have a good week :)