Monday, October 22, 2012

Large Group #3: Do not Judge by Appearances


Monday, October 22, 2012

Today we had a very discussion-based large group, focusing on pitfalls that we ourselves struggle with in regards to making judgments about others, how do we honor an "unseemly" sibling in Christ (also what it means to be unseemly and what it means to honor), and a few other points people were particularly interested in (which includes a discussion about homosexuality).

Lots of things were said, and it's hard to give a big overview of it as this was a rather free-flowing 1.5 hour-long discussion. So feel free to click on the post and read the rest of it! :)


1 Samuel 16:7
Matthew 23:23-28
Romans 14:1-12

We began by making a list of “ways we judge one another”:
1. Facial hair
2. Cleanliness/scent
3. Education
4. Wealth
5. Social Skills
6. Handwriting
7. Attire
8. Ethnicity
9. Gender
10. Sexual orientation
11. Religion, and subsets of
12. Politics
13. Accent, diction
14. Age
15. Attractiveness
16. Height/weight
17. Aggressiveness
18. Attention Span
19. Study habits
20. House affiliation (in Caltech)
21. Major
22. Psychological disorders
23. Sense of humor
24. Theological expertise
25. Personality
26. Alcohol use
27. Substance abuse
28. Smoking
29. Swearing
30. Health
31. Perceived Christianliness
32. Culture

Some things are more important to Tim than others. Amongst his pastors in his home church, one drank alcohol for the first time on his wedding night. The other came from a broken family, and he drank alcohol for the last time in his life on his wedding night. Both found freedom in their Christian life. To Tim, this is one of the best examples of Romans 14.

Tim also used to think that controlling your tongue meant to not say certain 4-letter words. But he realized that this was just focusing on outward appearance.

What are some things on this list that each of us is most susceptible to judging other on?
One person said psychological disorders, makes her uncomfortable. But often times these are the people who need the most love. Another person pointed out that there’s a difference between judging and pointing things out for the benefit of the psychologically disordered person. Eg. it could be dangerous for a sick person to be around a certain other person, so telling the sick person about it is not criticizing him/her, but it’s appropriate.

One sister shared about how she interacts with mentally disabled people. And her view is that she wants her behavior to reflect Christ in a way that will help those disabled people to fit in more rather than being ostracized.

Some of us also get #31 and #24.

#12 Politics. Tim never met a strong Christian who was a democrat until he came here (many of us expressed surprise at this).
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1 Corinthians 12:21-26

There are some parts of the body are presentable and others are not. In other translations, they call them “the seemly” and “the unseemly”. Tim interprets this as #31 “Perceived Christianliness”. Skippy was probably the first person Tim met who was completely different from what he expected a Christian to be like.

Madeleine shared the passage about the tree (Luke 6:43-45), where a good tree produces good fruit and a bad tree does not. And good works do not make a good man, but a good man does good works. She mentioned Catholicism, and the fact that often times we will criticize another denomination or group over semantics or other differences, but we often forget to see the good that comes out of what they do. What tells us better how others are: by what people say, or by their works?

Tim says he does not know whether he is a seemly or unseemly Christian. Growing up, he was the “ideal Christian child” that…well…it was all in appearances.

What does it mean to show those who are unseemly greater honor?
Tim does not have a great answer.
Some say: Don’t treat them how the rest of the world treats them. The seemly people naturally get things, but for the unseemly people, they have a harder time getting it. It takes more effort to bring them up to the same level (eg. affirmative action is trying to balance out educational opportunities…)

We’re not necessarily giving them greater honor, but we’re trying to put in more effort to give the unseemlies the same honor as the seemlies. Demetra likes to see this as a goal, for those people to feel cared about (like the song “they will know we are Christians by our love” (emphasis added)).

Madeleine heard this story from her grandma’s church: there was a man who came in to a church and asked for a job b/c he needed money for food. And they gave him a job to re-finish the pews, because he was a carpenter. Meanwhile, there were robberies and stealing going on, and so people thought that it must be this carpenter dude because he looked disheveled and sketchy. And he felt so horrible that he just left. And people were so surprised at how beautiful the pews were refinished, and were surprised to learn that the carpenter was actually a valedictorian in his high school and he had a full scholarship to a college in Michigan, etc. But he had a falling out with his family, and that’s why he learned to be a carpenter and was looking for a job. In this case, we’ve been judging by appearance, and gave no thought about who he was or where he came from, etc.
People like to talk about how people have judged and robbed them, but they never really talk about how they themselves judge and rob others.

Acknowledging when you’ve noticed something good – is a very important aspect in your relationship w/ God, with people around you, etc.
How you love someone, Christine believes, that you need to completely sever that from what they’ve done. Your love should not be dependent on what s/he has done. Robb says that we need to separate “who” from “what”. (though we still should acknowledge what people have done) But we can’t do this kind of love, this kind of love is from God.

Because you love the person, that’s why you find good about them.

Sarah says that maybe judgment isn’t as scary as we say it is. We don’t necessarily have to stop ourselves from making character calls on the first time. Like it’s good to realize that we have a hard time being patient with someone and so we recognize we need to work on that, or if someone is a murderer then we recognize that’s bad. And she often finds it valuable for her parents to point things out on things she needs to improve on.

We should still be observant about other people.

Madeleine points out that when you leave out judgment and resentment, how much more freedom we feel.

To the frosh: what were your first impressions/judgments of Caltech and what were you wrong about?
Jessica: we all have some unseemly aspect about our lives. Though we think certain people who fit these characteristics are unseemly. But we all have a skewed perspective.
Sarah says the ideal stereotypical Christian is…Jesus. But Robb points out that often times we say that we often think the stereotypical ideal Christian is someone who stays out of trouble and plays nicely with everyone, rather than pointing out what’s wrong with society or standing for what’s right (which makes many people angry).
Christine: Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine at a party.

People often think that the ideal Christian would not have anger in them. But emotions are [communication], they are neither good nor bad.
Bible mentions that you can be angry without sinning.

Prayer requests: Please pray for Demetra who has a minor foot surgery à can’t drive.
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Someone wanted to discuss #10 Sexual Orientation

Demetra mentions that in the hospital she [works at?] if some people don’t feel comfortable with rooming with someone, they’d actually send that person to the children’s ward, because children actually are far more accepting about that.

Madeleine mentions Lisa/Eric. She’s a fantastic human being, but people don’t see that and give her a hard time because they get all caught up about the fact that she used to be a he.

Treat people the same way, regardless of whether or not they agree with your beliefs.

Mark Driscoll wrote a book about (Tim’s reading it right now) how, he was trying to get a homosexual friend to read the bible, and the friend told him that he’ll read the bible if Mark would experience what the friend’s life was like. So he spent time with his friend in a gay bar. And this was a big step for him because it taught him more of how to love people. His theology didn’t change, he still believes homosexuality is a sin, but that doesn’t diminish his love for people, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Jesus ate with tax collectors and prostitutes; and sharing a meal with someone in the past means a lot more than our casual eating today.

Robb says that we shouldn’t view things so much as: this a rule, this is right and this is wrong. This doesn’t give much value. But the things in the bible are not so much as these are rules, but these are things for our benefit and for our wellness.

People who are homosexual are mine to love and God to judge. It’s not something that Robb has thought about much about resolving whether or not this is a sin. 

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